When Things Don’t Fall Apart

This morning, I am just grateful for such a beautiful and loving birthday celebration for Kate this weekend.  Her Dad’s parents drove to DC from Ohio, her step Dad’s (Frank’s) mom took the train down from New Jersey, and all of Kate’s girlfriends came over.   I think we had 15 girls here, to be exact, crazy fun (ok and chaotic too)!  And, for me, to have so much of her circle of family here with her was important — for her, for all of us.  What a blessing.  So much work has gone into making sure we can all be together for her, that we all respect each other, love one another, and can really just be together without the drama.  And, for Kate, this family will circle around her again and again throughout her life and not in a combative way, but a loving one.  Granted, we are still working on it and probably always will be, but the structure is in place and this is good.

Healing the wounds created by our human dramas takes time.  Some people never go there.  Some think it’s just too hard.  And, the truth?  It probably is true that the “road less traveled” is not as easy as the road that takes you into blame, division, separation.  The ego loves to play there and stay there.  When you step out of that mindset, though, and practice and commit to that life, you open to what is possible.

At a certain point, we forgive because we decide to forgive.  Healing occurs in the present, not the past.  We are not held back by the love we didn’t receive in the past, but by the love we’re not extending in the present.  – Marianne Williamson (A Return to Love)

What do you want for you and your family after the divorce or separation?  Really get clear about it.  What would be best for your kids?  What would be best for YOU?

Journal Prompt

Write on a sheet of paper how you would like a future gathering to look (your daughter’s wedding, your son’s graduation).  Include whether you have a new relationship, whether your ex does.  What about extended family?  What would be the absolute best coming together for everyone?

Action Steps

Take action now.

1)  If you are still working on forgiveness, get support this week to help you heal that wound.
2)  Have a short loving conversation with your ex or someone in the family.  A very short, small token.  Whatevery you are able to give.  You be the one extending the love today.
3)  Let me know how you feel.  Leave me a comment below, send me an email.  I want to hear how you are doing.

One More Thing

If there’s anything I can do on my end to help you, in any capacity, please let me know.

Go here for more resources on going through divorce and healing your way through it.  Please leave a comment here.  I want to hear about what you think and how you have taken action this week.  Let’s talk on the Facebook page http://facebook.com/candacesmyth/ or send me an email at candace@candacesmyth.com.

The divine light in me honors the divine light in you,

P.S. If you live in the Washington, DC area, here is the information on my new office for mediation clients in Maryland, Washington, DC, and Virginia : 1425 K St. NW, Washington, DC 20005.  My telephone number is (202) 587-2772.

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