Two Things you can do to have a Loving Divorce – Interview with Stacey Martino

I was having a conversation last night with someone about why mediation is a better alternative than the traditional divorce approach. I often run into people who tell me what I have to say is great and they believe in what I am doing, but mediation just did not work for them.

Why did mediation not work for these couples?

One answer I received was that he and I just had a different picture about what life after divorce would be and would look like. She told me her husband was hiding financials.

Truth : You have to let go of some of what you are holding onto to make progress. And, blame is not ever productive especially when you have children together. Of course it is easy to blame — we all go there. Most need time to get past it.

Another told me that she just wasn’t able to hold her own in the mediation, did not think she was emotionally ready, and she did not like the mediator.

Truth : A good mediator will give you time to get there. Sometimes an individual needs some time to figure things out, process through the emotions a little more before mediation will work.

Finally, someone else told me that she and her husband were in mediation for hours and spent thousands of dollars but got no where because she didn’t feel her mediator was intuitive about feelings, her husband kept changing the agreement the three of them thought that they had. She found it to be an infuriating process.

Truth : A mediator is bound to the whole of the process. Instead of advocating on an individual level, a good mediator is there in service to the family and a loving process and post-divorce relationship so that the family as a whole is nurtured.

Mediaton is not for every couple, but it is worth trying to see if it can work for you. If it can work, you will begin life after divorce in a much different place than most couples and have saved thousands of dollars.

Here are two things you can do to have a more loving, conscious divorce :

(1) When we blame another, we blame ourselves. We are all part of the same one.
If you are in the blame place, stop it now. It serves no one.

(2) Ask for what you need in the process — whether from your mediator or your attorney. Ask.
If you find yourself just doing what your attorney recommends without thinking it through, stop. Or, if negotiations are go along in mediation, the mediator repeats what she thinks she heard you say, but it is not what you meant, correct it.

I am sending around the interview again with Stacey Martino of I think so much of what she has to say about love and relationships is important for any relationship. Please take a moment to listen in on the interview.

Stacey Martino is the love and passion expert. Stacey and her husband Paul are the founders of Love and Passion Coach dot com, where couples create an unshakable love and unleashed passion that lasts a lifetime! Stacey and Paul created their own magnificent love affair and together developed their proven eight step Relationship Transformation Systemâ„¢ for helping people to create their own unshakable love and unleashed passion!

Stacey began in personal development over 17 years ago. She is trained and certified as a Marriage Educator, Divorce Preventionist, Strategic Interventionist and Coach by Tony Robbins and Cloe Madanes of the Robbins Madanes Center for Strategic Intervention. Stacey and Paul are consistently sought after to help people all around the world repair and transform their intimate relationships. They are known for achieving astounding and rapid results! Stacey and Paul live and love happily together in Bucks County PA with their two small children!

You can find out more about Stacey and her work at

Click here to listen to the interview

Much love and warmly,

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