Stop Overwhelm Now




Back away from overwhelm. Because when you just utter that word, you cast doubt on your capacity to rise. — Danielle LaPorte









Why overwhelm kicks our butt every time and what we can do about it.

What is overwhelm? The human brain was created and evolved to focus on one thing at a time. We may think we are excellent mult-taskers but in reality, we are not present with any one thing. Think about it. Say, you are making a pot of coffee, talking on the phone, and stirring some soup on the stove. The minute your friend on the other end of the phone says something crazy, or exciting, or jaw-dropping, you stop doing those other two activities. In today’s world, we are working in an office, worrying about what time to pick up the kids, how to pay the bills on time, what we will make for dinner, and a multitude of other “emergency” issues. This pushes our brain into overdrive, literally. And, there is no way the rest of us — our senses, our physical body — can catch up with where we have gotten our brain off to. Then, we begin to enter into what I call the overwhelm funnel.

The overwhelm funnel wants only for you to suffer and continue to suffer. It’s the creative ego trap. Once we have gotten ourselves all worked up with everything we have to get done. Our ego comes in to tell us, ever so kindly, how awful we are that we can’t get it all done and now. How lazy, irresponsible, worthless, ridiculous, bad with money, stupid, and selfish we are. hmmph!

Now what? Well, now we are usually crying our eyes out, maybe screaming, maybe in fetal position with a few pillows around us.

So, what can we do about it? STOP. Danielle Laporte says this about overwhelm, “Back away from overwhelm. Because when you just utter that word, you cast doubt on your capacity to rise. You let angst flop on your couch. You fret that you might not have the resources to surmount obstacles or to seal the deal on your dream.” I love it. Just back away from it. Tell it no. It does not own you.

There is a relationship between being overwhelmed and being a victim. Notice it and stop.

4 Proven Ways to Kick Overwhelm to the Curb Right Now.

1. Focus right now on one thing. Your breath. Close your eyes and breathe deeply five times. In through your nose and out through your mouth. Do it. If you are so far in overwhelm mode, you may even want to take a nap. Go take care of yourself and relax. Then, go to number two:

2. Target one mission and complete it. First, make a short list of all that is in your head causing the confusion, crowding. What on that list needs to be done right now? Focus on exactly what needs to be done. Dishes? Walk into the kitchen, turn on the hot water and focus only on getting the dishes clean.

3. Start saying no and stop thinking you have to do it all yourself. Insisting on doing everything yourself burdens you and prevents others from feeling like they are valued and needed. Delegate more at home and at work, and free more of your own time. This is essential to stepping out of overwhelm. As part of this, forgive yourself for not being perfect. You are not perfect and no one else is either. It does not exist. Remember that by not asking others for help and feeling like you have to do it all yourself is a sign you are delving into feeling like a victim. Check yourself. Empower.

4. Write down 5 things you are grateful for today. Make it a habit to do this every day. I promise this pulls you little by little out of feeling like a victim and being handcuffed by overwhelm.

If you want to work even more on striking the word overwhelm from your vocabulary and especially as it comes up in separation and divorce, look into joining us in the North Star Sessions program where we dive even deeper and help you break the habits that have bound you before :

Love and light,

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