Love Just Happens

After the interview with Diana Dorell last week, I have been thinking alot about love. Where does it come from? Why do some people fall in love easily and others don’t? How soon is too soon after divorce?

Wherever you are in the process of separation or divorce, these questions and the idea of going out with others, relationships are going to come up at some point. Diana gave us some great tips on how to know you are ready to get out there again, to meet people and begin new relationships. There are some clients who believe or worry they will never find someone with a toddler and small child attached at the hip. It is this very belief that keeps us closed. We close off our ability to be loved by another. It is a choice we have to be open or closed to love. To be open to love, we really do have to prepare. By nurturing ourselves and healing the wounded parts of us, we are preparing for what is next.

Talking about it also made me think of my own story and how Frank and I found one another. I am still so grateful that our love was permitted to grow just as it did. And, the truth is, as most say, it just happened. I had been preparing, in some ways. I was practicing yoga three times a week, going to therapy once a week, had been dropping to my knees crying for months. I was still very raw, actually, when I made a phone call to him late one evening. It had only been four months since my separation. I was drinking a glass of red wine sitting and looking out the front window of the apartment where I lived. It was my magical spot there. I would sit there for hours thinking and looking out on the forest across the street. I called him, my old very good friend, because recently someone had told me he had been doing yoga and meditating. Frank? Yes, Frank. So, I called him to talk, to catch up, to find out about his transformation. I had no intention of falling in love or even going out with him. I just had a very clear, beautiful interest in his life at that moment and wanted to talk. The next day we were off to the beach together as friends. It took a few hours of the beach for us to hopelessly fall into (I can still remember how that felt — we really fell into) each other, into love. And, so here we are now — over two years married, five years together, and absolutely in love with one another.

I share all of this to say, just work on taking care of yourself. Don’t try to rush anything, control anything. Don’t look for the perfect time, because there isn’t one. Don’t wait because someone has told you to either. Follow your own inner guidance system. It knows. You know. Take the time you need. Trust. Expand. Open. Allow.

Go here for more resources on going through divorce and healing your way through it. Please leave a comment here. I want to hear about what you think and how you have taken action this week. Let’s talk on the Facebook page or send me an email at

The divine light in me honors the divine light in you,

P.S. If you live in the Washington, DC area, here is the information on my new office for mediation clients in Maryland, Washington, DC, and Virginia : 1425 K St. NW, Washington, DC 20005. My telephone number is (202) 587-2772.

P.S.S. Get ready for some amazing resources! Not only do I post a weekly interview with a divorce-related professional or divorce story to learn from, but I am also about to give you a few key legal resource sites for each of your states. I will let you know when you can grab your local resource kit! Go here for the weekly interviews.

One comment

  • Diana Achee

    Candace, I TOO had been “preparing” myself for whatever would come after my divorce for a year before it was final ~ but I didn’t know it! My DEAR friends guided me to
    * write in a journal EVERY DAY! and ALWAYS record 3 things I was thankful for
    * begin an exercise program in EARNEST! I chose yoga and pilates & my son suggested walking
    * TAKE CARE of ME in general!

    I have to say I NEVER really knew what that meant until after many months I began to feel physically stronger and in turn emotionally stronger!
    My sweet daughter (22 at that time, now 24) came to me and said “KUDOS to U mom! U chose yoga instead of drugs or alcohol”

    I’ve been seeing a wonderful man now for 4 months. 2 years ago I would not have thought I could be happy and at peace & loving again and being LOVED!!!


    August 16, 2012

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