The Dark Side and How to Pull Yourself Out.


It is so good to be sitting down to write this morning.  It has been a difficult week for me.

I have been struggling with overwhelm.  My mother-in-law is here now living with us and so our family has made some adjustments to how things were.  We are all taking it one step at a time, but it is not easy for anyone — especially my mother-in-law who has lost her independence.

Every stage of life, every moment when we experience overwhelm, the “dark side” of the light may try to creep in.  What does it say?

It says things like :

What did you ever think you were doing?

Why did you say that?

This was all a mistake and I am so stupid for ever deciding to be here.

I am so awful, stupid, selfish, inconsequential.

It is all her fault!

None of this would have happened had it not been for what he did!

He is out to get me and running all over me.

He never cares about how this makes me feel!

So, we have shame — when we turn our pain inward.  And, we have blame, when we turn it externally to others.

The trick is to pull ourselves out of it as soon as we notice that we are going there.  It is never easy, but you always have the power to do it.

Here’s how :

  • Stop the thought. Notice it and ask yourself if that thought is true.
  • If you answer yes to the question, continue to ask until you see and feel that it is not true.  Turn it around.  Use Byron Katie’s method.
  • Remember that no matter what mistakes you make, no matter how imperfect you are, the truth is you are also brave and worthy of love and belonging.
  • The truth is everyone just wants to be loved, to feel loved and accepted for who they are.
  • Manage your emotional reactivity with mindfulness practices.  I have given many possibilities in other posts.  I use yoga, meditation, prayer, angel cards, breath work, herbs, tea, green juice, taking a walk, forward bends, . . . just for some ideas.

No matter what, when we experience the darkness, we must remind ourselves that only we have the ability to change the thought.  It is only within our own power to shift.  We are responsible for our behavior.

Monumental shifts can be made by one act of love in the face of the darkness.   Please share by clicking here to tweet this.

I hope you all have a beautiful first week of Summer.  Enjoy the small moments with your kids.  Enjoy the sun.  Write up what you are grateful for each day, and always go to bed at night with a feeling that you are loved and there is an infinite, beautiful plan in the works for you and your family.

Lots of love,

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