I am eating oysters for Thanksgiving. What are you doing?


Life ebbs and it flows. Especially during the holidays. I wake up this morning full of life and strength. I can feel the new year peeping around the corner and it is winking, smiling. All of the hard work you are doing now is for you and your future.

I have to be honest about something though…. I am feeling a little bit lonely this Thanksgiving. I have my beautiful family — my husband and Kate, our two cats — Max and Oliver, our one year old puppy, Emily. But, I miss my big family in Alabama. I miss my sister and all my cousins. I miss my parents who are no longer living, my grandparents too, the food. My husband doesn’t really understand it. He didn’t grow up in a large family or with a deeply held culture around Thanksgiving. There was a routine. I knew every year what we would eat, who we would see, where we would go. It was loving and relaxing, warm and filled with connection. The smells were the same, the hugs, the couches, the football on TV.

This is what we feel when we experience loss. Loss of anything.
Those memories do not go away, they have helped to make you who you are.
And, although it does get easier each year without someone or without a particular routine, the pang of sadness can sometimes creep in. Instead of brushing it away, we sit with it. If you are feeling lonely or a lot of sadness during the holidays, here are a few things you can do to have a beautiful Thanksgiving.

  • Cry a little.
  • Feel the love inside. Just be with that feeling for a minute.
  • Know you are loved. Affirm : I am loved because I exist, and the universe (or god) totally supports me.
  • Remind yourself of all that is right in front of you. Get present with the abundance here and now. Breathe deeply. Tap the middle of your forward with your eyes closed.
  • Give yourself a real hug for at least 10 seconds. Even rub your shoulders with your hands as you would another person. This feels amazing. You have to try it. You may feel weird about it at first, but if you do it, you will see the power in it.
  • Call 3 people who you haven’t talked to in a long time but with whom you share a deep connection and love. Openly receive the boost you need.
  • Ask yourself right now what you want to add to your current experience from those experiences that you have lost. For example, I will make my Granny’s very special Thanksgiving dressing (email me if you want the recipe). I may go out and buy some oysters to shuck out on the deck. We plan on getting our Christmas tree this weekend (which is really early for people where we live in DC), and I will turn on the little TV we have just so the sounds of football will be playing through the house — kind of like a candle that is lit.

What will you do that is different, the same, that will help you feel loved and supported this Thanksgiving?

Lots of love to everyone today and through this week. Please share your insights and stories with me. Let me know how I can support you further along your journey. I am holding office hours this coming Thursday from 2-3 p.m. Call me about anything on your mind.

With love and light,

 

P.S. Let’s keep this work going.  I am getting ready to open up a new North Star Sessions group.  Keep watching for the details!

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