Keeping it Present and Calm for your Kids

This week is the beginning of something a little new. Every other Monday beginning today, you will receive a North Star Sessions interview and on the following Monday and every other you will receive a written post from me. I put everything I have into every interview and post I put out there, and I want to make sure to not overwhelm you with content.

Please let me know whether you like our change in structure or prefer it to stay the same. I am always open to hear how you feel about it.

This week’s interview is with Jennifer Kogan. We are talking about children and divorce today and how to make sure you protect them and allow + nurture their own processing of emotions through a divorce.

Jennifer Kogan is a licensed independent clinical social worker (LICSW) who offers individual, couple, and family therapy in her NW Washington, DC private practice.

Jen specializes in support and counseling for parents (individual and couple) who have children of all ages in addition to postpartum anxiety and depression counseling. Jen also offers groups and workshops in the DC-area focusing on the science of self-compassion, tuning into the self, and shame resilience.

As a parent of two school-aged children herself, Jen is familiar with the joys and struggles that go along with parenting in today’s fast-paced world. With more than 18 years of clinical experience, Jen believes that we are all doing the best we can and that sometimes we just need a little help. Jen is an experienced and caring clinician who works with clients to create and maintain a life filled with joy, connection, and growth.

Find out more about Jen and the upcoming Parents in Tune session at Lil Omm Yoga on Sunday, June 21 at 6:30 p.m. at http://jenniferkogan.com.

Click here to listen to our interview.

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Two Things you can do to have a Loving Divorce – Interview with Stacey Martino

I was having a conversation last night with someone about why mediation is a better alternative than the traditional divorce approach. I often run into people who tell me what I have to say is great and they believe in what I am doing, but mediation just did not work for them.

Why did mediation not work for these couples?

One answer I received was that he and I just had a different picture about what life after divorce would be and would look like. She told me her husband was hiding financials.

Truth : You have to let go of some of what you are holding onto to make progress. And, blame is not ever productive especially when you have children together. Of course it is easy to blame — we all go there. Most need time to get past it.

Another told me that she just wasn’t able to hold her own in the mediation, did not think she was emotionally ready, and she did not like the mediator.

Truth : A good mediator will give you time to get there. Sometimes an individual needs some time to figure things out, process through the emotions a little more before mediation will work.

Finally, someone else told me that she and her husband were in mediation for hours and spent thousands of dollars but got no where because she didn’t feel her mediator was intuitive about feelings, her husband kept changing the agreement the three of them thought that they had. She found it to be an infuriating process.

Truth : A mediator is bound to the whole of the process. Instead of advocating on an individual level, a good mediator is there in service to the family and a loving process and post-divorce relationship so that the family as a whole is nurtured.

Mediaton is not for every couple, but it is worth trying to see if it can work for you. If it can work, you will begin life after divorce in a much different place than most couples and have saved thousands of dollars.

Here are two things you can do to have a more loving, conscious divorce :

(1) When we blame another, we blame ourselves. We are all part of the same one.
If you are in the blame place, stop it now. It serves no one.

(2) Ask for what you need in the process — whether from your mediator or your attorney. Ask.
If you find yourself just doing what your attorney recommends without thinking it through, stop. Or, if negotiations are go along in mediation, the mediator repeats what she thinks she heard you say, but it is not what you meant, correct it.

I am sending around the interview again with Stacey Martino of http://loveandpassioncoach.com. I think so much of what she has to say about love and relationships is important for any relationship. Please take a moment to listen in on the interview.

Stacey Martino is the love and passion expert. Stacey and her husband Paul are the founders of Love and Passion Coach dot com, where couples create an unshakable love and unleashed passion that lasts a lifetime! Stacey and Paul created their own magnificent love affair and together developed their proven eight step Relationship Transformation Systemâ„¢ for helping people to create their own unshakable love and unleashed passion!

Stacey began in personal development over 17 years ago. She is trained and certified as a Marriage Educator, Divorce Preventionist, Strategic Interventionist and Coach by Tony Robbins and Cloe Madanes of the Robbins Madanes Center for Strategic Intervention. Stacey and Paul are consistently sought after to help people all around the world repair and transform their intimate relationships. They are known for achieving astounding and rapid results! Stacey and Paul live and love happily together in Bucks County PA with their two small children!

You can find out more about Stacey and her work at loveandpassioncoach.com.

Click here to listen to the interview

Much love and warmly,

Please click the link below to listen to the interview:

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Stacey Martino – Heal the Relationship Even if Divorce is the Answer

Stacey Martino is the love and passion expert. Stacey and her husband Paul are the founders of Love and Passion Coach dot com, where couples create an unshakable love and unleashed passion that lasts a lifetime!

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