How to Know You Have Hired the Wrong Attorney in Your Divorce.

I woke up this morning needing to tell you something that shines a light on what is most important in hiring an attorney for your divorce.  You see, one of the reasons I started this business (being an attorney myself) and feel so passionate about it is because I have seen family law attorneys (and attorneys in other areas of the law) become part of the process in a not so positive way.  Some attorneys thrive on conflict, and others thrive on the power it gives them to advocate on behalf someone who cannot advocate for themselves as well.  Being a public defender, immigration attorney and GLBT advocate, I know latter syndrome really well.  It makes the attorney feel better that they are able to take the burden off the client and some become almost a caretaker.

What often happens, though, is the client is disempowered by the relationship.  The client relies and looks so up to the attorney representing him or her that the attorney becomes the client.  The client is silenced.  The client is not part of the process anymore.  In family law, this is especially detrimental, in my view, to the process because the attorney-client relationship essentially ends and one of the key people in the family is not talking for him or her anymore.  The compassion, love, memory of the relationship from that perspective no longer speaks.  Once the divorce process is over then, that client is left to his or her own abilities to co-parent successfully, to communicate with his or her ex, and be an adult in life and in another (hopefully) healthy relationship.

 

Here are three very unique ways you know you have hired the wrong attorney to handle your divorce : 

 

  1. Your attorney begins to say in negotiations or in discussions with you, “well, I could never sign something that says that” or “I would never agree to that.”  If your attorneys stops remembering that you are the one that must decide (with his or her advice, of course) whether it makes sense for you and your family to sign something, you have a red flag.  If you begin looking to your attorney for every answer and have difficulty going inside yourself, you may need to seek counsel elsewhere to break the cycle.  I don’t care how much you want to bow out of the divorce process, when you do, you are not being an adult in the process.  I will save this for a future blog post because I was there one time and can speak to the feeling very well.  But, to avoid all now only makes it worse later.
  2. Your attorney never gives you an understanding of where the other side is coming from.  There are always two sides to any case, and if you are in litigation, a court may be asked to decide.  If your attorney accepts your story wholeheartedly and goes after the other side without thinking, asking or talking with you about your spouse’s emotions and triggers and the positives of his or her case or what a court might do in this situation, you have another red flag.  This is when you end up in court having spent tens of thousands of dollars and then get surprised by the result.  (and, usually you realize that you could have had that result in the beginning just trying to work it out.)
  3. Your attorney communicates with your spouse or spouse’s attorney on something important to you without discussing it or showing you the communication.  Talk about how miscommunication happens and how it escalates conflict.  Attorney-Client communication is key to having a healthy relationship and a divorce process with the least amount of conflict and drama.  When you already have more than two people in the mix, the telephone game is bound to start.  But, if you have an attorney who clears the communications with you, you ask yourself the three questions : is this true, is this an attack or retaliation move, is this really how I want things to look in the future?, and you still feel like the communication should go out, then you are good to go.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Remember, you are wise.  You know what is right when you are quiet, still and listen to your higher self.  Love is truly the only answer here.  Only you, not your attorney, can speak to that truth.

 

 “When we turn on light, the darkness disappears; and when we turn on love, the ego disappears.” — Marianne Williamson

 

I hope this is helpful to you.  Please let me know what you think by replying to this email, leaving a comment on the blog http://www.candacesmyth.com/blog/ or on the facebook page.

 

I hope you have a blessed day today.
With love and light,

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. If you are looking for a coach to help you divorce different and do it less expensively (much less!) and with a huge reduction in conflict, contact me by replying to this email now or call me (202) 587-2772.

 

P.S.S. If you are struggling to find a way through this process and you live in Washington, DC or Maryland, call me to discuss my family mediation services.  (202) 587-2772.

 

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How To Make A Light Shift In Your Communication

This morning, I am up in New Jersey visiting my mother-in-law who has been in the hospital now for almost two months.  She has not walked since she went into the hospital, and to say she has had a major life change is really a disservice to her.  I am in her empty house this morning thinking about all of the routines that have been a blessed part of her life all of these years.  We are not sure how much longer it will be before she is able to come home or even if she will be able to resume life in this house.  So many unknowns, but she is dealing with them with such strength.Divorce is one of those traumas not unlike aging and realizing that things are going to have to be very different moving forward.   Your life, your family’s life changes very suddenly most times.  There are those who see it coming and those who don’t.  Those who make the decision and those who feel abandoned.
A constant refrain in these times is the communication in your head about every single change or decision.  Usually when we are in high fear times like living with many unknowns, the voice in our head is very negative.  I am sure you can think up many that go through your own mind each day. Here are some that went through my head when I was in the middle of my own divorce:He never loved me.
We are going to live destitute without two incomes.
He doesn’t really care how anything makes me feel.
He doesn’t love me so could care less about working anything out.Or my worries about my mother-in-law :She is never going to walk again.
What are we going to do about when she gets out of the hospital?
We are going to have to live in New Jersey to get everything done.It is so easy to go the way of negativity and worry isn’t it?  There are probably many worse thoughts that have come to mind. What is important is not to disregard the thoughts totally.  Acknowledge they are there and coming up for you.  What is important, however, is that you turn them around whenever possible to a positive thought.  What do I mean? For example, let’s use the thought or worry that he never loved me.Thought :  He never really loved me.Now I can skillfully argue this case and present evidence for it — or I could have at that time.  I would have been very emotional about it, actually, and sure of it. But what happens when you present all of your evidence?  You stop, right?  And, that’s it.  Your mind then believes it to be so and thinks it true.  But, it is an illusion.  What happens when your mind believes this negative thought is that your body feels awful.  You feel depressed, angry, just plain down.  And, the thought is only half true anyway.  The other half true is the new thought.New thought : He always really loved me.I can find examples and evidence to back up both of these statements (and could have even back then — although more difficult, absolutely possible), but the new thought makes me feel so much better and helps me to be more loving towards him.  It saves me from attack and him from attack.This exercise may not change the situation.  You are still getting a divorce, but it changes the energy of your divorce.  It will.

Only you have the choice.  The one who sees it is the one who must act.  (Who cares if you are the one who always comes around and helps to bring a halt to the conflict.  That is okay.  Embrace your role, don’t feel resentful about it.)

I hope you have a blessed day today.

With love and light,

P.S. TODAY is the final day to register for the North Star Sessions.  You have to register here to be a part of them : http://www.candacesmyth.com/the-north-star-sessions/
Call me if you have any questions about the program : (202) 587-2772.

P.S.S. If you are struggling to find a way through this process and you live in Washington, DC or Maryland, call me to discuss my family mediation services.  (202) 587-2772.

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What’s V-Day Got To Do With It?

First of all, I just want to let you all know how blessed I feel this morning to be here with you.

These last couple of weeks have been the scariest of my life, I think.  My daughter has always been healthy, but we found ourselves in Children’s Hospital last week with a bone infection.  If you know the symptoms of such an infection, you know how painful and debilitating it is for anyone, much less a little one.  I found myself thinking some dark thoughts several times, but I always meandered my way back with the tools I have learned on my life journey and that I share with you each week and with my clients.  Kate is really okay now.  We had to get the antibiotics going and after a week in the hospital we are home.  After a few doctor’s appointments, she will be back to school full-time.  Grateful and feeling blessed beyond measure.

Life, the universe, god sends you these times for a reason.  If we were never tested, we would not know much.  We would not grow into the next us.  They are reminders of our human-ness, our inability to make it through this life with trust of a more powerful source than ourselves.

Divorce is one of these.

In so many ways, divorce is a gift of spirit.  It is here to help guide us into the next phase of our lives, however painful, it is here to guide us into a more joy-filled destiny.  One in which we are even more present that we were before.

So, that brings me to Valentine’s Day.  This Thursday.  Do you have a plan?  Having a plan changes everything, it helps you to feel empowered because you are deciding affirmatively what you are going to do.  There is no way for you to be sad and alone (and feeling like a victim) on Valentine’s Day when you choose and take actionable steps to have the day you desire.

Here are some great ideas on what to do on Thursday to make this Valentine’s Day a happy, nurturing one :

  1. Give to others – Go to a local nursing home or Children’s Hospital, soup kitchen, where others need you.  Find a cause you like and spend some time helping others.  The true, time tested elixer for getting us out of our own pain-bodies, get up and give to someone else in need.
  2. Host a party – invite all your friends over to celebrate with you.  Nothing keeps us busier than cooking, decorating and hosting a party for others.  Relax with a few other friends, drink some wine and be together.
  3. Pamper yourself – treat yourself to something you love.  Get a massage, a 95+ points bottle of wine, dark dark dark chocolate, bath bombs, a pedicure, restorative yoga.  Spend some time and money on yourself.  Or, just get cozy in bed with that book you haven’t had time to open up lately.
  4. Write yourself a love letter – make a list of all the things you love about yourself, why not? You deserve it!
  5. Limit your exposure to romantic movies or love songs, doing so might only make you feel worse.  So give yourself a break.
  6. Be creative – Start that painting you have been thinking about, go on a photography shoot of your neighborhood, local graffiti or nature, go hiking, try out a rock climbing class or trapeze.  Do something daring!
  7. Go out with friends – enjoy the evening with other friends who appreciate you and what you have to offer.

Let me know what you planned!

Why don’t you give me a call between 9 a.m. and 10 a.m. ET?  I am holding office hours again.  So, just call me at (202) 587-2772.  I would love to talk with you!

With love and light,

P.S. Let’s keep this work going.  I am getting ready to open up a new North Star Sessions group.  The Sessions are beginning on February 19.  You have to register here to be a part of them : http://www.candacesmyth.com/the-north-star-sessions/
And, remember the EARLY BIRD discount ends on Valentine’s Day.  So, you need to go ahead and get in there before midnight on Thursday.  Here’s the link again.  Call me if you have any questions about the program : (202) 587-2772.

P.S.S. If you are struggling to find a way through this process and you live in Washington, DC or Maryland, call me to discuss my family mediation services.  (202) 587-2772.

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Sometimes life happens and you don’t know what to do

Sometimes life happens and you don’t know what to do.

My family was all in various doctors offices all day yesterday — with Kate.  I am still so worried about how she is going to be.  She has been complaining with butt pain and she can’t walk very well.  We seem to have figured it out, but we go back to the doctor today.

Times like these though make everything stop still for me.

I am triggered big time.  I hold it together for Kate and then I lose it.  I have lost so many people I loved tragically and suddenly and to have Kate suffering from something unknown throes me into trauma-panic mode.  I am definitely mother bear and hen and all.

What has helped me is to repeat over and over what I am grateful for.  I am grateful for so many things in my life right now.  So many.

A repeating list of gratefulness is a huge part of holding it together.

My constant rose quartz stone is always with me.  It gives me grounding and love.

My breath continues to work too.

We all fall on difficult times.  Things do fall apart or seem to.  This is what it is to be human.  Things that go up, must come down.  Things that go down, must come up.  It is the fluidity of life.  So, I try, I work on myself, on my trust of the universe, god.  I pray, meditate, hold onto my rose quartz and breathe.  I have been here before.  And, I know that I have the tools to not let my negative (let’s go into the dark ravine) mind take over.  That is what I teach, after all.

I am here.  I am grateful.  You and I are loved.  I promise to check back in at the end of the week.

With love and light,

P.S.  I would truly be honored to have you in the North Star Sessions.  I can’t wait to go through the program with you myself.  Its a six week program.   Here ‘s the link for more information and to register : http://www.candacesmyth.com/the-north-star-sessions/  Remember, if you are in the DC area, we will be holding two in-person group workshops.  I am so looking forward to having you there.

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On Being Non-Violent and How to do it

There are a few things being celebrated here in our nation’s capital today: Martin Luther King’s birthday celebration and President Obama’s second inauguration.  It is a special day here and a busy one.  My daughter Kate recited this quote in the car the other day when she said how difficult it was for her to understand most of King’s speeches, except for this one, and she recited it in its entirety.  I cried, of course :

I have been thinking lately about non-violent communication and how very important it is in the divorce process. So, with today being in honor of one of THE non-violence ministers and advocates, I think it is the right time to talk about it. It is also something that I plan to really dive into on the call this week. Have you registered yet? If you haven’t yet, do that through this link. Spots are limited for the live call, so make sure you register early.

As I practice mindfulness everyday in my own life, there come times when I fall. I get so angry, fearful, insecure in my relationship that I begin to attack (a bit passive aggressively, I might add). I throw out words that mean nothing and probably would not sting me but hurt him badly. Even though I am not hitting — something you would easily think of as violent — I am throwing violent word punches. Oh, the damage words can do. You can’t be perfect and that’s okay. But, what you can do, is try and keep moving forward (not backward).

This is why, even though you have decided the relationship is over, taking a class or reminding yourself how to nonviolently communicate can make a world of difference in the divorce process (and beyond). This is one of the things that to me makes the North Star Sessions™ so different and so valuable. I didn’t have this information when I went through my divorce. I had some innate ability sometimes to communicate but I mostly just muddled through and made lots of “violent” mistakes. It took almost two years to work through a settlement. That takes a lot of energy and money. By using some of these tools, you can save yourself thousands (I mean it) of dollars and worry and anxiety and time. And, that goes for work you must do post-divorce too.

To start, here are five nonviolent communication techniques to help you through your next negotiation debacle :

  1. Stop. Breathe. Notice the communication situation. What is really going on here? Step back and look at the situation without judgment. Step back from your own emotion and look at it.
  2. Look at your own judgmental thoughts. What judgment have you been tossing at the other person? Just notice it.
  3. Now that you have separated yourself from the judgmental thoughts and words, express how this conversation has made you feel or how you feel about what it is you are arguing about. For example, instead of saying “I feel like you never really listen to me!” say “I feel alone and misunderstood because when I speak you often talk over me.”
  4. Identify for yourself what you need from the other person. In the example above, the need would be, I need him to listen to what I have to say.
  5. Express that need and ask for what it is you need with your whole heart. For example, “Can you please give me some uninterrupted time to finish and then please tell me what you heard me say?” In this example, one is not feeling like the other is listening and needs some reflection of what she is saying. Often, it is working both ways. Meaning, if one of the two feel like they are not being heard, the other feels the same. Once you begin this process, it changes the dynamic completely. It slows down the conflict and helps you to see one another as beautiful human beings again. To end, after the requester receives what she or he has asked for, thank them for listening, acknowledge what they have done. Appreciate (one of the five A’s of an adult relationship).

Try them out and let me know how it went. Please email me your questions and insights. I would love to hear from you. Just hit reply to this email.

With love and light,

 

P.S. Let’s keep this work going. I am getting ready to open up a new North Star Sessions group. I am giving a free one hour tele-class on January 24, 2013 from 2pm – 3 pm ET. Click here for the link to register. And, if you miss it, no worries because there will be an encore call on Friday, January 26 (Saturday) and I am recording it. I will be sending more details, so keep watching for more information!

You must click here to register for the call on Thursday.

P.S.S. If you are struggling to find a way through this process and you live in Washington, DC or Maryland, call me to discuss my family mediation services. (202) 587-2772.

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Have you reset for 2013?

Can you believe we are still in the first month of 2013?  I have to say that I am truly grateful to have a few more weeks here.  January of every year is so important for the rest of the year.  It is also a big month of change.  Those who are unhappy in their marriage or relationship find the new year the exact right time to take affirmative action in their situation — whether to leave the marriage, decide to start couples counseling, begin to take time for themselves to figure things out.  January is a great time to make a move.  I feel hopeful because I am finding more and more people who want to end their marriages in a more loving, peaceful way.

We all have the capacity to make a loving divorce and co-parenting relationship work. We do. And, many times it is our life path to work on our part in the conflict with our spouse or former partner. It is the work the universe or god has blessed us with. And, with each step through this work, we find ourselves wise, more healed, and better able to deal with the next great lesson.

So, with all this work, I want to give you a gift today for your January 2013.

This worksheet is part of the material for the very last week of the North Star Sessions. It is a worksheet to get you thinking more about what it is you want to do over the next six months. Get your gift here.

Now, right now, take five to ten minutes to free write, brainstorm, just let yourself go with 50 things you will do in the next six months. That is January through June. (And, in June, I will post the worksheet again for you so you can do it again.)

I love this exercise! I do it every year and sometimes more than once. Sometimes I get to 100.

Here are a few things on my list for the next six months : start rock climbing classes, take Kate to a museum every two weeks, finally complete that work of art (about my grandmother) that has been on my list for awhile, green juice daily, yoga three times a week, calendar time for writing my book.

Let me know what is on your list!

With love and light,

P.S. Let’s keep this work going. I am getting ready to open up a new North Star Sessions group. I am giving a free one hour tele-class on January 24, 2013 from 9 a.m. – 10 a.m. And, if you miss it, no worries because there will be an encore call on Friday, January 26 (Saturday) and I am recording it. I will be sending more details, so keep watching for more information!

P.S.S. If you are struggling to find a way through this process and you live in Washington, DC or Maryland, call me to discuss my family mediation services. (202) 587-2772 .

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Happy New Year!

Let’s be grateful for what 2012 brought to us — even the difficult times are there to bring us to new places, new beginnings.

I truly believe in the goodness of this new year. The universe is always rearranging itself for our best interest. And, I am only ever expecting positive results, no matter what is in front of me. (thanks to Fabienne Fredrickson, this has definitely become one of my new mantras!).

Last week, I was taking a hot bath with one of my new Lush bath bombs (Christmas present from Frank). A memory came to me about how often I saw falling stars as a child and teenager living in Alabama. I thought about how much I wish I could see stars more here in the city. I want to see more stars…… (but that’s another subject that takes us to how much I need the country and Colorado mountains in my life :) I was thinking about one memory in particular. I was spending the night with my best friend, Amanda, I must have been 14 or so. And, she was having a spend the night party or something because there were quite a few girls around. We were walking down the dirt road she lived on and looking up at the sky and all the stars. And, we saw a falling star and I wished on it — like always, the same wish — I wish that I will forever be happy. I want to be happy. Others were wishing for things, for wealth, for particular boyfriends. I wished to be happy.

There is probably much you can take from this story. At the time, I truthfully did not think of myself as happy. I was having a rough time of it. I grew up in an ultra conservative environment in Alabama — and adolescence and my pushing the social mores — proved to be a really difficult time for me. So, I became a dreamer. I dreamed of leaving Alabama (which I later did), I dreamed and dreamed and dreamed and most of all I dreamed of one day being happy.

So, my wish on the star that night and those many falling stars I saw growing up in Alabama made me today think of HAPPINESS and our new year.

Is happiness on your list? Do you wish for it, have you ever?

The lesson I have learned over many years of healing, exploring my own depths as a human being and reading book after book about it is — you can wish to be happy all you want, but it is in choosing to be happy that makes it so. Happy conditions do not make us happy, being happy causes happy conditions. So, no more wishing on stars to be happy. I choose it period. No more questions. Happiness is not out there……… Happiness is right here and it has been here all along. We all have the same capacity, the same ability, the same happiness opportunity. We just have to notice it and choose it. That simple.

Being just is. It takes no time at all.

So, it’s your choice — as it always is. You can either try to get happiness, try to do things to make you happy, or you can right now, this instant decide to be happy. Which do you choose this 2013?

How are you this January 2013? Where are you in the divorce process and how does this MML help you today? Please write to me.

With love and light,

P.S. Let’s keep this work going. I am getting ready to open up a new North Star Sessions group. Keep watching for the details! February 2013 — North Star Sessions, a new way to divorce different.

P.S.S. If you are struggling to find a way through this process and you live in Washington, DC or Maryland, call me to discuss my family mediation services. (202) 587-2772 .

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How Busy Are You?

To begin, I just want to stop for a minute to pray for the families and friends of those beautiful little ones and big ones we lost this week.  May their love and spirits carry us all into a much better world, into our higher selves.  May we find more love and peace, may we come together like never before in love.  Amen.

—————

I have to be honest.  My to do list right now is longer than I can handle.  I have been recovering from bronchitis for going on three weeks now.  My mother-in-law is in the hospital this morning for an angiogram.  School is out on Friday.   I have to get holiday cards out — still not done.  And, those last minute gifts have to be bought too.

Realizing there are still unknowns and curve balls thrown at times, how do I want this week and next week to be?  What would be the ideal way these next two weeks can turn out?  How do I want to feel?

 Joyful, Nurturing, Loving, Peaceful, Grateful, Magical, Calm, Rested, Wonder-full, Beautiful, Loved, All is Well, Healthy, Ease, Plentiful, Whole.

Take a moment to write down how you want to feel these next couple of weeks.  Now, look at your calendar (I am looking at mine right now).  Of the things you have scheduled, delete or mark through those activities that do not make you feel one of your ideal emotions.  Figure out a substitute, just don’t do it or ask someone else to do it for you.

You are the decider.  You are responsible for how things will be for you.  I am responsible for my next week too.

Ahhhhhhh.  Thank you for being here this Monday morning.  I need you to keep me straight too.  You help remind me to take care of myself just as I remind you.

So, tell me what comes off your calendar this week?  Send me an email.  Let me know.  And, I will let you know what is coming off mine!

Finally, this quote begins Marianne Williamson’s newest book The Law of Divine Compensation.  I wanted to share it with you today.  It is powerful.

“The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or a hostile universe.”  – Albert Einstein

With love and light,

 

 

 

P.S. Let’s keep this work going.  I am getting ready to open up a new North Star Sessions group.  Keep watching for the details!

P.S.S. If you are struggling to find a way through this process and you live in Washington, DC or Maryland, call me to discuss my family mediation services.  (202) 587-2772.

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What Are You Choosing?

The universe or god supports every thought we choose to think and believe.  We have a gazillion+ choices about what we think.  The abundance, freedom from suffering is in the choosing.  If we choose balance, harmony, peace and we allow those thoughts to permeate, our life expresses those thoughts.

In traumas — such as divorce, losing a loved one, losing a job — it is very difficult for our thoughts not to be negative and downward spiraling. But if we know that we have the power to take back our minds, that we want to feel abundant, loving, free from suffering, then we choose to do it. Knowing we can choose yet deciding to remain in the suffering, remaining a victim of circumstance, choosing to be the victim because it is all we know that brings us some validation, this is not the path out.

Divorce, just like anything else, can be a mindset jumble. It is supposed to be hard — on the couple, the kids, the finances.

But what if we choose to step out of that way of thinking?

It doesn’t have to be all those things. Sure, emotionally we must still walk along the path to healing and that is going to take some time. But, we have a choice to make the divorce process — more enlightened or darker.

And, we hold, each of us, that responsibility. We hold the key to a loving new co-parenting relationship for a children to thrive in. We hold the key to release of heavy, angry emotions so that we can move forward into new loving relationships.

Every day, I am positively expecting loving movement forward in my divorce, no matter what I see in front of me.
The universe is rearranging itself for my best interest right now.

Close your eyes. Breathe deeply in. And out. Three long deep breaths. Write this down. Put it in a place you will see every day. And, say it aloud.

You hold the key. The power is within you. Every moment, you have a choice to make. When you know, the choice is with you and you hold that love and responsibility.

I would love to support you through this time. Let me know how I can do that.

With love and light,

 

P.S. Let’s keep this work going. I am getting ready to open up a new North Star Sessions group. Keep watching for the details!

P.S.S. If you are struggling to find a way through this process and you live in Washington, DC or Maryland, call me to discuss my mediation services. (202) 587-2772 .

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I am eating oysters for Thanksgiving. What are you doing?

Life ebbs and it flows. Especially during the holidays. I wake up this morning full of life and strength. I can feel the new year peeping around the corner and it is winking, smiling. All of the hard work you are doing now is for you and your future.

I have to be honest about something though…. I am feeling a little bit lonely this Thanksgiving. I have my beautiful family — my husband and Kate, our two cats — Max and Oliver, our one year old puppy, Emily. But, I miss my big family in Alabama. I miss my sister and all my cousins. I miss my parents who are no longer living, my grandparents too, the food. My husband doesn’t really understand it. He didn’t grow up in a large family or with a deeply held culture around Thanksgiving. There was a routine. I knew every year what we would eat, who we would see, where we would go. It was loving and relaxing, warm and filled with connection. The smells were the same, the hugs, the couches, the football on TV.

This is what we feel when we experience loss. Loss of anything.
Those memories do not go away, they have helped to make you who you are.
And, although it does get easier each year without someone or without a particular routine, the pang of sadness can sometimes creep in. Instead of brushing it away, we sit with it. If you are feeling lonely or a lot of sadness during the holidays, here are a few things you can do to have a beautiful Thanksgiving.

  • Cry a little.
  • Feel the love inside. Just be with that feeling for a minute.
  • Know you are loved. Affirm : I am loved because I exist, and the universe (or god) totally supports me.
  • Remind yourself of all that is right in front of you. Get present with the abundance here and now. Breathe deeply. Tap the middle of your forward with your eyes closed.
  • Give yourself a real hug for at least 10 seconds. Even rub your shoulders with your hands as you would another person. This feels amazing. You have to try it. You may feel weird about it at first, but if you do it, you will see the power in it.
  • Call 3 people who you haven’t talked to in a long time but with whom you share a deep connection and love. Openly receive the boost you need.
  • Ask yourself right now what you want to add to your current experience from those experiences that you have lost. For example, I will make my Granny’s very special Thanksgiving dressing (email me if you want the recipe). I may go out and buy some oysters to shuck out on the deck. We plan on getting our Christmas tree this weekend (which is really early for people where we live in DC), and I will turn on the little TV we have just so the sounds of football will be playing through the house — kind of like a candle that is lit.

What will you do that is different, the same, that will help you feel loved and supported this Thanksgiving?

Lots of love to everyone today and through this week. Please share your insights and stories with me. Let me know how I can support you further along your journey. I am holding office hours this coming Thursday from 2-3 p.m. Call me about anything on your mind.

With love and light,

 

P.S. Let’s keep this work going.  I am getting ready to open up a new North Star Sessions group.  Keep watching for the details!

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